Testimonial - Emily Severance

My dad's met Sparky and thinks he's a sweet dog. My friend Kay's met Sparky and thinks he's a sweet (but horny) dog. People from all over the world visit Sparky and think he's a sweet dog. However, few have experienced his darker suicidal side by taking him for walks around his Brooklyn neighborhood--walks I refer to as the Chicken Bone Express to Hell. Sparky can spot a chicken bone a block away, but that's not necessary when the neighbors so accommodatingly provide him a landscape of 5 chicken bones per square foot to lunge about in.

"Don't do it Sparky! Don't end your life by getting a chicken bone stuck in your craw! Remember Nelson and all the good things in life: snapping at bubbles, sniffing crotches, and humping dogs!" Despite my pleas, at times I've had to hold open his mouth and dig out the bone shards of his potential doom that drip with the saliva of his self-destructive desire.

People might think the chain and collar I made for Sparky and Nelson is supposed to represent the strong bond they have, or how Sparky's so wonderful that people want to be chained to his magnificence, but really it's to help him get a better grip on his tenuous hold on life. By keeping closely connected to the owner he adores, I pray, implore, and hope he'll escape those enticing, life-ending chicken bones.